I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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