i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
