Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
