she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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