He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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