Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
