:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
