How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize