I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My dick has a subreddit
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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