You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
