He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
