dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
