your room smells of hookers.
And success
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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