so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
