God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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