i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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