i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
