I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
