Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
