Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
