Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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