haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
