dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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