She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
