Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Randomize
