Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
