I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
