i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The struggles of a small town man whore
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
