Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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