Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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