dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
