I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
