if you like me you must not know who I am
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Randomize
