Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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