I just threw up on my dentist
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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