So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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