Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
