I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
