My liver just broke up with me...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
