Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
