WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
