How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
