You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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