he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
two words: eviction party
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
