wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
