Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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