Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
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