I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
