she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
