went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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