Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
