Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
