who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
