my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
