I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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