i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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