Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
