I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize