u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
