I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
