Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
