My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
