I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
