meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
