my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
