Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
