every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
