is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
