I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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