M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't deserve a penis
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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