I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
