i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
