You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
