Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
